New Year, Same You

Here we are, NINE days in to 2020. 

Did you make a resolution for the New Year? If you did and you already have forgotten what it is was, don't feel bad.  91% of people will quit what they set out to do by mid February.

We set goals because we think it's going to make a us feel a certain way, as if they are going to fill that hole in our Soul where we feel most deficient: we aren't enough, we are too much, we need to know more to be respected, we need to lose more to be attractive, we need to have more to be successful. 

Lies. All of it. Lies.

What I know for sure is that we will NEVER have enough of what we don't need.

Read that again.

Getting to the root cause, the ground floor of how we want to feel is an EXCELLENT place to start when we are feeling the need to set goals or resolutions.  The following TWO prompts are an excellent way to begin.

1. How do you want to FEEL?  At the end of the week, month, year... How do you want to feel? 

In 2017, I wanted to feel like I did when I left a yoga class; at ease, at peace, still. With three dogs, a 5 year old, a business, a husband and a household to run... this was a tall order.  And I knew it wasn't going to be possible to be in this state of bliss ALL the time.  But what I realized is that I was making decisions and saying YES to things that were making me feel the OPPOSITE of my desired feeling.  So, I did my best to run my decisions through the gate of "is this going to make me feel like I just came out of yoga class?"  If not, I didn't do it. (Most of the time.)

2. WHY?

Why do you want to set this goal? The TRUTH.  Sometimes, the truth is that we need therapy or coaching to straighten out our thinking.  Because "I want to lose 20 pounds so my husband will find me attractive" is NOT the reason to lose 20 pounds and require some deeper inquiry and healing.

My "why" for wanting to feel more peace and ease was so that I was in a more centered place to participate in my life.  Running around, Mach 2 with my hair on fire was NO fun.  I was crabby, short tempered, exhausted and generally fed up.  And I didn't want to live my life this way.  That wasn't a "normal" that I ever wanted to get used to.

So, that New Year's Resolution or Goal that you set? If you answer the two questions above, do you even want that "thing" anymore?  It's ok to change or modify it.  It is TOTALLY ok to abandon it altogether and choose something (or not) that is more meaningful.

The THIRD part of this is that we need to ask ourselves if we are willing to do the work to achieve the goals/resolutions.  Sometimes, we have these grandiose ideas but we fail before we ever get started because we truly aren't willing to do the work. AND the FOURTH part, we have to know what the work is.  All of it.

So if you are a meat eater and you are going vegan, you better know ALL things before you get started; including are you willing to make 3 different meals at dinner because your 3 year old and partner aren't doing couscous. 

So...what work /action do we need to take and are we willing to do it?

Let me know how you want to feel in 2020, I can't wait to read about it.