Confusion Can be Cathartic

Intentional living takes effort.

Starting anything new takes effort because we don't quite know or understand the way.

Sometimes, trying to know and understand can be detrimental to our growth, healing + peace as it doesn’t allow us to just trust in ourselves and have faith in the process.

Have you ever walked a labyrinth?

It can feel confusing and feel as if you have gone the wrong way but if you keep walking, stay the course, trust the process, you will end up in the center.
The same is true as you exit.
If you let go of trying to figure it out, understand it, analyze it, you will eventually wind your way out.

Thinking and analyzing isn't needed or effective.

Letting go and letting the process unfold allows us to peel layers, go deeper and give space to listen to what is really needed and important.

This morning, I left the house early to walk a labyrinth before teaching class. On my drive over, I was thinking of what I needed to release or manifest or figure out. There has been a situation gnawing at me and I cannot figure out what to do. The more I think about it, the more confused I get.

I arrived at my usual parking space and started walking toward the labyrinth. The sun was still rising over the mountains and the air was cool. I could feel my body settle when I crested the hill and saw my destination.
And then my brain kicked in to figure out what my purpose, what needed to be solved, what had to be fixed while I was walking.

I took several deep breaths as I walked in.

Immediately, the sound of my boots crunching the gravel and sand took me back to the retreat in Sedona I was just at. The Nu Lemurian Heart Center had two labyrinths and I walked them a few times during my stay.

This morning, the sound of my boots meeting the gravel and the stillness in the environment around me was especially calm.
I just walked.
And then words started coming to me
and then I started saying those words out loud.

I am pretty introverted and private and hold things pretty close and even though I was totally by myself, I was initially self conscious about talking to myself. I giggled a little bit at my nervousness.

The words?

I am heard.

I am seen.

I am loved.

I have all that I need.

I kept walking and then I started noticing a lot of heart rocks on the ground.
This always makes me smile and think of my maternal Grandmother.
She passed a few years ago but I feel her around me.
And when I am need of counsel, the heart rocks always seem to appear.

In the labyrinth, there is only one way in and one way out. Kind of like life.

I felt confused and had the initial thought "did I go the wrong way"?, "did I skip a row?"

I stopped and took a big breath and a look around at the sun peaking through the mountain and began walking again.

When I reached the center, I sat for a few moments and smiled at all the heart rocks.
Some on their side,
some created because of where leaves and debris were
and some in plain sight.

As I began my journey out, I kept repeating the phrases and as I was about half way out, another phrase was added.

I love myself.

This is not an easy one for me and one that I am exploring now. But it felt complete.

I smiled all the way back to the car.

Gratitude for taking the time to walk and let it all just be.

Gratitude for having a labyrinth so close to my home.

Gratitude for the willingness to commit to a life of presence, awareness, truth and love.

May you be at peace.

May you create time and space to...

May you find your path

May you love yourself just as you are..as you were and as you will be.

And so it is.