5 Steps to Clarity

Life is like an ocean.  It ebbs and flows.  The only certainty is that there isn’t any. {except for death & taxes}.

Things change.  Our children move from grade school to high school.  They graduate. They leave the home.  We change jobs or retire or leave careers to start families.  We get sober, we recover, we move on.

I don’t know about you but when I don’t know what to do, I get uncomfortable.  And sometimes, that feeling of being uncomfortable lasts awhile.  I have come to learn that being uncomfortable, like grief, is something that I cannot push through.

I was recently putting a class together.  Each week, I painstakingly research topics that I can present to my class each Sunday.  This week?  Nothing.  Nada.  Zero.  Zilch.  The BIG DONUT.  Nothing was “landing” for me.  All of a sudden, I felt as if I knew nothing.  My brain completely emptied.  I have NOTHING to offer, NOTHING to share. Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!  This went on for FIVE days.  The night before the class, still nothing.  THEN at 2:35 in the morning, it landed.  I am not alone in this and this has happened before; this not knowing.  So, my class topic?  Not knowing and what you need to know when you don’t.  Brilliant.

Here are the five things you can do the next time you don’t know. I have done ALL the research so you don’t have to.  {You are welcome.}

1.  BE STILL.  Pay attention to what is happening at that particular moment.  Notice what your mind has to say about it (probably a lot).  Notice what your body has to say about it {neck pain, jaw pain, shoulder pain?}  When we are still, EVERYTHING has a a chance to slow down; your breathing, your thoughts, the panic that comes with not knowing.

2.  GET COMFORTABLE with being uncomfortable. So, how do you get comfortable being uncomfortable?  Acknowledgement.  This can be something that you do on your yoga mat in a particular pose (ahem, suffering pose).  “I am uncomfortable.  This is uncomfortable.”  You get asked to present at a conference, the PTA.  You are overwhelmed as you sit with divorce or child custody papers.  You want to leave your job.  You want a brand new career.  Some of these are exciting and some are uncomfortable.  Acknowledge it.

3.  DO NOT make any decisions.  Making a conscious decision to not make a decision is actually MAKING a decision. {Yes!}

4.  Check IN rather than Check OUT.  Meditate, take a walk, practice yoga, pray.  The time you take to do one of these may be all the time you need to settle down and begin to know things again.  Netflix, boozing it, mindless eating, shopping, social media?  No.  When you “awake” from one of these stupors, you will still have the issue of not knowing…being uncomfortable and no solution or relief.

5.  OPEN yourself up to new ideas and ALL possibilities.  You don’t have to act on any of them.  When we are able to get centered and still we allow our mind, heart, body and Soul to get in alignment.  One doesn’t override the other as you allow each to have their say.  Be open to new ideas and possibilities.  Be vulnerable.  Let go of control.  Be honest with yourself.

There are no mistakes.  There really aren’t.  Just opportunities for new doors to open and new roads to travel.  Sometimes what you perceive as a mistake is a signal or indication that what you are supposed to be doing is not that.

“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.

— Lao Tsu


It’s ok to not know.  You will, eventually, know.  Be Still.  Sit with being uncomfortable.  Check IN. Open yourself to all possibilities.